Tis A Gift

These days the song "Tis a Gift" often runs through my mind:

Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free

tis a gift to come down where we ought to be

and when we find ourselves in the place just right

we'll be in the valley of love and delight.

In this picture, you can see my kitchen...it isn't pretty or even that functional, but I do the best I can! I believe that in this season, the best thing I can teach my children is that in whatever situation we are in, we have a responsibility to respond well and continue in the good works God has given us to do. In my case, our kitchen has been in the process of being remodeled for almost 2 years now...with no end in sight. Yes, my husband will eventually get it done, but he is a Visionary who has a lot of great projects in mind and a lot of awesome projects going at a time, and so I do my best daily to choose to love that about him and just be okay with my life as it is! I desire for my girls to grow up seeing their mother respect, love and laugh with their Daddy and keep cooking, canning, etc. in their zany kitchen in their little house so that when they have families of their own, they can rejoice in whatever they've been given as well. I am learning, I complain sometimes, and life gets me down sometimes, but this is my objective!! =)

How My Journey Began

Last March my inward, hidden life hit the fan and I began to seriously search and ask God what I was supposed to do to feel happy. I'd been crying everyday forever, couldn't find joy over my children, never had enough time with my husband and never felt that anything I did mattered and even if it did, I didn't have time to do anything well anyway. It wasn't a good time for me. God showed me that I wasn't focusing on what it was that I was made to do - to simply love my husband and children, to keep my home, to be chaste and discreet. There was nothing else I needed to do. There was no one else I needed to please. I stopped running around so much just to "fill my time"; doing this and that errand, being a part of this or that organization. As I learned about beauty and modesty I even began to change the way I dress, opting for skirts and dresses and shirts that cover more than what I was covering before. My husband loves the new way I dress and thinks it's beautiful! I realized with a pretty sick feeling that I had been dressing to please people around me more than I'd cared what my husband thought. Certainly I wanted him to think I looked pretty, but it was important that others, namely men, thought I was attractive when I was at Target or whatever. I'm embarrassed to write that! How terrible of me. I am in the process of ridding myself of the need to feel approval from men who aren't my husband. I long for more purity in my heart and mind. As I place my gaze more and more on Jesus for everything I need, (including guidelines for what to do with my time and how to dress) then place my hands to caring for my husband, children and home, I trust that God will bless my family and the satisfaction I get from my life will make it easier and easier to care only about what He cares about.

Keeping House

I used to think that "keeping house" meant keeping the house clean, and maybe cooking dinner. I did that pretty well. My heart wasn't in it so much, but I figured as a stay-at-home mom those things were certainly part of what just made sense for me to do. What I didn't know is that God actually laid out the importance of being a keeper of my home in the Bible!

^{Titus 2:3-5}

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

If I am not being a keeper at home, I am actually blaspheming God because He considers the roles of men and women sacred and valuable and I am to uphold my femininity in order to honor the Lord! For me, being a "keeper at home" literally means to be a "caretaker", not just a house-cleaner or cook, but to guard anything and everything that comes in and goes out, to be aware of the atmosphere in my home, to take care that it reflects who we are and what we value as a family. When I began to catch that vision, my excitement level went through the roof! Okay, no, I'm not saying I'm overwhelmed with joy over my home every minute (I am human!) but I often think, "Wow, if God has really given me this great a responsibility, if my investment means this much, well, this is something I absolutely want to do!"

I had the pleasure of stumbling upon a fantastic, although extremely challenging, book called So Much More, by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin and it helped me begin to understand my own purpose as well as what I want to instill in my girls as they grow up. After I read that, I listened to a CD set done by Anna and Elizabeth's mother Victoria Botkin called She Shall Be Called Woman. I highly recommend these resources to any women desiring to further their understanding of Godly womanhood and needing some excitement over it! =)